What happened next…

What happened next…

I was going to take some time today to blog about having another baby (wahey!) and some interesting dynamics that have exposed themselves since then but I really feel that I need to finish the part of the story I left off at before looking forward. It’s probably the most complex part of the story to write about, convoluted and mirky and extremely personal so bear with me (yet again) as I sort through memories and time and try to give useful insight into our life with OCD. Read more

Autumn: beautiful leaves, crisp air, panic attacks.

Autumn: beautiful leaves, crisp air, panic attacks.

It’s finally Fall. One of my favourite times of the year. The air smells delicious, I can finally wear scarves and toques while taking Matilda to Kindergarden (prompting a child there to ask if I’m sick. No child, geez. I just like being cozy, ok?!) Candles and tea are very appropriate and I can stuff my face with all things pumpkin. Fall, however, for the past two years, has also brought with it sudden, random moments of panic – constricting chest, shortness of breath and vivid fear. I have been sitting on writing about this next part of our story for months. It’s still hard for me. I am still recovering, two years on and that surprises and frustrates me but that is just the way it is. So, bear with me if I have to take a break to cry in a corner and then remind myself of the miracle of the past two years.  Read more

Settling in.

Settling in.

Matilda started Kindergarden this week. Or is it day care? I don’t even know what it’s called in English. Krippe. For the under-3s.

Everything about getting into this Kindergarden has been miraculous. Apparently Leipzig needs a huge amount of teachers for Kindergarden which has led to long waiting lists and low chances of getting in fast. We managed, really through a serious of miraculous coincidences to get a space for Matilda at a brand new, really close, Christian-run Kindergarden.

As soon as we knew that Matilda had got a place, we started to prepare her. Every time we walked past the building we would tell her that it was her Kindergarden and would explain about all the fun. We bought her a backpack and hung it up in the hallway. She wasn’t allowed to play with it but we told her that it was for Kindergarden and she would be allowed to use it then. That really helped her get excited (when she finally got to use it she cheered, jumped up and down and just basically freaked out). She got to pick her own slippers which arrived just in time and helped get her ready. She got to paint and decorate her binder for the class and I brought her with me to buy the supplies we needed. With her character , this was the kind of prep that she really needed and helped her feel more prepared internally.

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Another day, another blog

Another day, another blog

Well, here goes. Another blog. I have been toying with the idea of blogging again for quite a while now. It’s not my first time dipping into the much-tread waters of blogging and I have never had the staying power needed to really stick with it. Will now be any different? I don’t know. After 2 previous failed attempts I make no promises, but that’s fine by me.

So why blog again? Good question.

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