A couple weeks ago I deleted Facebook off my phone. Here is an update on how that’s been going:
– I immediately looked at my phone less and felt more focussed. It’s happened so much that I reach into my pocket, turn on my phone only to realise that there is nothing really I can do with it right then. It’s been pretty crazy to see how subconsciously I sometimes reach for my phone and not having Facebook has made me more critical of my use of my smartphone in general.
– I really no longer feel the need to know what everyone is up to. In fact, when I do go on Facebook, I haven’t been trying to catch up with everything I’ve missed, which is what I thought would happen.
– I started using other Apps more to fill time. There are times when Matilda watches shows, or is playing happily in the bath, when I would normally be looking around on Facebook, but seeing as I can’t do that anymore, Pinterest and my go-to ‘Lifestyle’ App ‘Flipboard’ (there is something really slimy about writing Lifestyle app. It kind of makes me feel dirty. Hm) have become my time fillers. Not good. I had decided to really keep my eye on that consumption when…
My phone completely broke. Level Up! The Facebook thing was a pleasant step, one that I had decided on, but being completely without a phone really is a whole other level. Man, I use that thing a lot! I have wanted to google things this week but then forgot by the time I got home, I am missing a bajillion WhatsApps (and annoyingly, I can still hear when they get to my phone, I just can’t read them! Torture.) I can’t call anyone or be called.
I am a little island. This has had its perks. It’s nice to be forced to focus. I can no longer distract myself from being alone, being sad, being hungry etc. I am now forced to deal with whatever is going on. I have only had a smartphone for not-quite 2 years but it’s crazy to see how much having one has changed me. So now it’s nice to have some silence. On the other hand, I am more panicky when Matilda is at kindergarten cause they have no way of reaching me.
[Rachel is nervous about leaving Emma alone in the apartment for a few minutes]
Rachel: What if she jumped out the basinet?
Ross: Can’t hold her own head up, but yeah, jump out.
Rachel: Oh my God, I left the water running.
Ross: Rach, you did not leave the water running. Please, just pull yourself together, okay?
Rachel: Ah, did I leave the stove on?
Ross: You haven’t cooked since 1996.
Rachel: Is the window open? Because if there’s a window open, a bird could fly in there.
Ross: Oh my god, you know what, yeah, I think you’re right. I think… listen, listen.
Ross: A pigeon, a pigeon. No, no wait, no, no, an eagle flew in. Landed on the stove and caught fire. The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird’s aid. The eagle, however, misconstrues it as an act of aggression and grabs the baby in its talons. Meanwhile the faucet fills the apartment with water. Baby and bird still ablaze are locked in a death grip, swirling around in the whirlpool that fills the apartment.
Rachel: If that happens now, you’re going to feel SO bad.
That is me while Matilda is at Kindergarten. And there is no way for a sarcastic but truth-speaking ‘Ross’ to reach me!
And I miss talking to people on the phone, which I normally do a lot.
Garbage! And I literally just now remembered that my pastor said he had an old phone I could borrow and I forgot to ask today. Garbage!!!
As you can see I’m coping well.
I am definitely staying broken up from Facebook but I am in too deep with connectedness. I’m just not ready to say good-bye.