I love you, I do. You’re great. You’ve been so helpful in keeping me in contact with friends and family spread across the world. You let me see into their lives in ways I couldn’t normally, and I get to share my life with them. You’re fun, you’re easy, plenty of people love you just the way you are! So don’t feel bad, it’s not you. It’s me.
You see, I have a personality that is perfect for our unhealthy relationship. I love knowing what is going on in the life of my friends (and people I don’t really know well at all). But I don’t need to know. You are an enabler, Facebook. And you are enabling me to feed my insatiable curiosity. You are enabling me to share snapshots of my life, but at the same time, my love for you means that I am missing out on the glorious Monet-style paintings that are happening right in front of my face.
I don’t blame you. I blame myself. I lack the discipline needed to have you on my phone and not want to be constantly connected.
I don’t blame you. It’s my fault. I have lost the ability to enjoy a moment without feeling the need to share it with the world. I said to someone a few months ago that I was shocked to notice that I felt that experiences I was having didn’t ‘count’ or weren’t ‘real’ until I shared them with someone, anyone – Facebook. That’s not good, is it? That doesn’t sound like the healthy relationship we both wanted to have, does it?
Oh. You think I’m leaving you for someone else? That I’m quitting you just to get in bed with blogging? Well, yes. In a way I guess you’re right. But I am breaking up with you in order to build something healthier.
So. I can’t go cold turkey. I know that, you know that. But today I am starting phase one of quitting you. My phone will no longer be your home. I am kicking you out. Let’s get some distance and see how that goes. Pack your bags, amigo, and move back to where you were originally. On my laptop. Out of constant reach. Let’s get some distance and see how that goes. Maybe it will be enough? We’ll see. But for now, I’m off to help you pack.